Christians Get Anxiety Too
I’ve been praying over what to write about for this blog post and I just keep coming back to the topic of experiencing anxiety as a Christian. I tried to dismiss the nudge since it will of course require a level of vulnerability that I’m not sure I’m totally comfy with sharing. That’s when the Lord reminded me that He takes what the enemy meant for evil, and He turns it for good. We sing it enthusiastically in worship, but it’s because we assume it requires none of our contribution. In Mark 2, if it wasn’t for the friends of the paralyzed man overcoming the crowd, digging a hole, and lowering his dead weight through the roof to Jesus, he would never have been healed. That’s what we do as believers. We’re called to uplift the paralyzed and bring them to the feet of the Lord. For Him to do a good thing with a bad one, it requires a willing vessel to squirm through discomfort to bring hope and healing to the surface for us all to receive. So, hey! It’s Maia Carter, today’s vessel. Let’s get into it.
Super quick backstory to build some credibility here, I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life. It started as a young child with separation anxiety from my mom due to my father’s inconsistent but mostly inactive role in my life. It spiraled into social anxiety throughout my childhood and then in my late teens/young adult years I was diagnosed with High-Functioning General Anxiety Disorder. This basically means I dealt with anxiety for so long that on the surface I looked and seemed totally fine when I was absolutely not. No one would know unless I told them, and even then, people didn’t take me seriously because of how fully functioning I was in my dysfunction. For maximum vulnerability I’ll even let you in on this… I had a panic attack one time, unprompted, unwarranted… on the toilet. Yup. Nothing at all was happening for my nervous system to be on such high alert, but that’s the thing with an anxiety disorder, it doesn’t need a reason to pop up. Okay, more than enough about me but I want to make sure you know I’m not a fake just writing to write. I’m right here on this topic with you.
I haven’t completely overcome the spirit of anxiety quite yet, but I have learned how to not let my anxiety make me feel like I’m failing God, that He doesn’t love me or that I’m not qualified to go where He calls me. Take this blog post for example. I still struggle with anxiety, yet I’m writing about it openly to share the growth I have made instead of gatekeeping revelations and progress along the way. I still trust and believe Him for complete healing. I’m just not there yet, and that’s okay. He’s in the business of healing, but He sometimes needs us to experience what we consider to be unpleasant to maximize our calling.
It’s not easy. This is hard, heavy and very consistently intentional work that needs to be done. But if you lock in, you’ll make progress and learn how to control your anxiety more than it controls you.
It is crucial not to have tunnel vision when we turn to our Bible’s in an effort to simply feel better when we need to get better.
Our Bible tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything,” (Philippians 4:6 NIV) and as a person who has struggled with a lifetime of anxiety, this infuriated me for a great while. It wasn’t until I recently acknowledged how insensitive I felt the Bible was for commanding that impossibility when I realized I wasn’t reading the whole verse, and I mean really reading.
(Side note, I love The Passion Translation, TPT, when I read the New Testament. It just speaks so plainly. When I’m studying the Word, I’ll cross-reference multiple translations, but as far as just falling in love with the Word, I highly suggest you get hip to TPT.)
Anyway, Philippians 4:6-9 TPT says, “Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ. Keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always. Put into practice the example of all that you have heard from me or seen in my life and the God of peace will be with you in all things.”
So here we have it. The Bible is not cruel and insensitive, just demanding we feel no anxiety. It actually gives us generous step-by-step practices to put into place to overcome the spirit, but the problem is, by the time we come to our Bibles riddled with anxiety, we want a quick fix. We want God to just get rid of the problem. He’s not in the business of providing comfort by your definition. Now He will comfort you, but it’ll be by you doing the work and drawing Him nearer. How annoying is it when someone who pays you no mind only calls you for a favor when you have something they need? There’s no relationship there. It’s all take, no give. There’s no difference with God, He wants a relationship with you— nothing more, nothing less.
This verse says to be saturated in prayer each day. Are you praying daily or are you just praying every once in a while when you need Him to pull through? Paul says to present your requests with overflowing gratitude. Are you thanking Him in advance for the miracle you’re genuinely believing Him for, or do you approach Him with skepticism as to what He is and isn’t ‘able’ to do? Extend gratitude as if you truly trusted Him to come through, and that He did. Prophesy over it. Until then, don’t become so hyper-fixated on what you want God to do that you neglect all the things He’s already done.
Paul says to give Him every detail of your life. Every detail means the raw, uncut, unedited version. He can’t bring peace where you ignore a disturbance. If you try to keep your prayers neat, pretty, reserved of authenticity, you’re stopping yourself from receiving Him in an area you likely need it the most. He created you, He knows you far deeper than you know yourself. Be honest with Him as you learn new parts of yourself— you’re only showing Him spiritual maturity by being more self-aware. He already knows everything about you, but now that you’re ready to admit it to yourself and call on Him to intercede, you’re in the miracle-working stage. There’s nothing you’re able to hide from the One who created you, and the longer you hide rather than seek, you lose. Not that He gives us anything by works but by faith, He’s also a good and all-knowing Father. You wouldn’t hand over the keys to a car to a two year old. You know that he simply isn’t ready to manage the responsibilities of making safe and sound decisions behind the wheel. So to protect Him, you cannot yet hand him those keys— it would be dangerous to Him and others on the road. As it is in the natural, so it is in the spiritual. God blessing you with certain desires prematurely will only put you and those connected to you in harms way. May be mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically, but any time you rush an outcome without taking time to nurture the developmental process, it cannot and will not sustain. Until you get to a point of admittance, you will be missing out on a whole world of opportunity with the Lord. Pray this prayer boldly, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting,” Psalm 139:23-23.
Paul continues on to say, “Keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always.” This is hard. This is extremely hard. Right here, Paul is essentially telling us that when the enemy tosses grenades of anxious thoughts into our minds, to shift the focus. Do not validate or bring to life what the enemy is trying to get you to believe. You have no control over what thoughts come across your mind, but you have so much more control than you think when it comes to vitalizing them. You have a split second to discern if what is being spoken over you is real and true, and if it is not, telling Satan to get behind you. The most powerful way to do that is by disengaging in those thoughts altogether, and fixing your mind on what God considers authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. Refuse to pay mind to what the enemy is attempting to torment you with, and direct your thoughts to the goodness of God, thanking Him for what He’s done for you before and what you believe Him to do again. That war is not yours to fight, it is His and all you are required to do is think about the goodness of God and He will fight for you. We do not battle against flesh and blood, but of the spirit. So call on the Holy one and allow Him to fight. He has defeated death itself, there is nothing He cannot overcome.
The last thing Paul tells us is, “Put into practice the example of all that you have heard from me or seen in my life and the God of peace will be with you in all things.” I emphasized ‘all’ things here because I want to make sure that through my last point, you aren’t using that as an excuse to neglect, suppress or deflect from what needs healing. As I said earlier, we have to do the work to dig up and acknowledge what needs to come out, but we also need to hand it over to God. It’s a multilayered process. We cannot run from ourselves and we certainly cannot run from Him if we ever wish to feel true inner peace. We must also not minimize His definition of healing to be what makes us feel good instantaneously. Some healing requires time, for us to slowly discover and squeeze the light out of the darkness. If He healed us immediately, we would gain no true value from the pain inflicted on us, and there’s always value if you just let God do His work. In Joel 2:25 it reads, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten… You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be ashamed.” It could and very well may be years of locust swarms, but the God you serve is One who restores and repays in full with interest. Trust in Him that He is making a way out of no way.
Anxiety is very real and it can become consuming and debilitating if we are not careful. What the enemy cannot destroy externally, he attempts to attack internally. None of his tactics can be made new, so when he’s gone through his ‘trusty’ list of attacks on your circumstances and sees you’ve still got movement, oh he’s mad. Don’t let him win by distracting you with a war in your mind. God has big plans for you that the enemy knows he can delay by crippling your mind. I pray what the Lord laid on my heart for this post met you in the deepest parts of your spirit. That through my obedience, transparency and vulnerability, you have been moved and encouraged to continue fighting the good fight of faith, 1 Timothy 6:12.
God’s not done with you.